The sound of a chainsaw in a horror movie conjures only one image – Leatherface. The lumbering, freakish figure struck terror into our hearts when introduced in Tobe Hooper’s The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974). Several sequels, the 2003 remake and unneccessary prequel later, a fresh attempt at retooling the franchise – that follows directly on from the original film – has landed on our screens.
After the Sawyer family home is burnt to the ground by an angry mob, killing all members of the family, we flash forward, decades later, to Heather, who learns she has inherited an estate in Texas from her grandmother. She decides to take a road trip, along with three friends, to investigate her inheritance. Heather soon discovers the terrors that had supposedly been wiped out have never really left…
We didn’t ask for this, we honestly didn’t. So why have we been given another Texas Chainsaw Massacre film? From the start it lacks any cohesion between the original and this supposed sequel. The opening twenty minutes are set directly after the first film but rather than continue the grimy style employed by Hooper, we are treated to everything in high-definition 3D. When we fast forward to the present day, there is no visual gear change to distinguish between periods, which feels completely weird.
The time frame is completely all over the place. How old is Heather? The modern day narrative is set in 2012. That should make her thirty-eight years old but she looks about twenty-five. It’s also unsurprising how easy clothes don’t properly fit the young and sexy cast (including a rapper that now wants to be an actor). We are treated to tight and fully opened shirts for the men and for the females, minimal clothing with constant bare midriffs – and they all have to take these clothes off at some point or another.
From the plot holes down to embarrassingly unaccomplished performers, Texas Chainsaw 3D makes for one bad experience that offers no suspense or intensity (unlike the original). This is the type of film Scary Movie (2000) used to parody.
Mark awarded Texas Chainsaw 3D one Torch of Truth
